omg!1!

Hey folks.  Sorry there hasn't been a post in awhile.  New full Austin adventure blog soon.  For now, I'm playing WoW.

"Beck, you're a pussy."

Christianity:  The belief that some cosmic Jewish Zombie can make you live forever if you symbolically eat his flesh and telepathically tell him that you accept him as your master, so he can remove an evil force from your soul that is present in humanity because a rib-woman was convinced by a talking snake to eat from a magical tree.  Makes perfect sense.

Last night was fun.  I went and saw Against Me! at Rhino's in Bloomington.  Good show.  It's good to see that Rhino's is still a little dive hole in the wall club that you feel very very old at.  I'm twenty-two (22) years old and I felt like a pervert looking at girls and felt as if I should sit the kids down on my knee and tell them how I meet Joey Shithead.  Anyway, I diverse.  Against Me! was grand.

So last night, I got home about two (2) in the morning.  I stayed up for a bit watching [adult swim] and chatting to people online before it got way to hard to stay up, so I crashed.  So, for the first time in a couple of weeks, I had sleep.  No tossing.  No turning.  Just pure sleep.  (There were dreams, but those are personal, asshole.)  This is great, my father had slight surgery in the afternoon and I could sleep almost all the way to the appointment.  But, of course, monkey wrench.

I woke up to a knock at the door (no pun intended), I find my trusty Bob Marley shirt and sling that on make my way to the door.  Mouth unwashed and unbrushed, hair still a mess, and glasses hanging off my round face.  Low and behold it's my neighbor, Vanessa.  She was in the class below me in high school.  Ok, we weren't exactly best buds that went to ice cream socials and went butterfly hunting together, but whatever.  She's at my door, we small talk for a moment and then she reveals her true intentions for the rapping on my door forever more.  She's a Jehovah's Witness.  Oh boy. 

She goes into the spiel, I'm not listening, I'm thinking about the pillow and the wonderful dream (still private, you scoundrels) I was having.  She notices that I probably looked half autistic with a dumb look on my face as I was watching Hummingbirds feeding.  She then asks, what religion I'm practicing.  Well, this isn't good.  Most of the time with these people I claim something like Satanism, worshipping the Old Gods (H.P. Lovecraft, kids), or the Norse Gods (Hail All-Father Odin).  But this is someone I know.  I'm going to feel bad if I'm an absolute dick to her about religion.  Because in truth.  I'm an atheist.  (Granted, you see Humanist listed.  But that's because I'm trying to avoid some conflict, but I do like Humanism.  Look it up.  Thanks, Mr. Vonnegut.)  So, I stayed civil, sent her on her way, and she's not harmed.  See Zak Kroger.  You don't always have to destroy the mental state of some people, but I couldn't get back to sleep, maybe I should've maimed her a tad.

Your body will know if it' not the right way to go, list listen closely to your heart and follow.

You must be willing to abandon it all.

You must be willing to starve.

Moving to Austin this Saturday.  Going to through ambitions to the wind and head out west where the wind blows tall.  (Finish the Tom Waits lyrics yourself, kids.)  This should be fun.  Another chapter (maybe book?) in the life of your favorite half-breed fat ass.  Let's see what the Lonestar State has in store for me.  I hope many great things.  An advanced thanks to Shannon and Tracy if I can crash on their couch for a couple days while I find a job and an apartment.

It's all pretty surreal at the moment.  It doesn't feel like I'm moving, it feels like I'm just resuming something.  Coming home to Indiana felt like a pause in a video game.  It felt like I was back peddling here.  Seeing old friends is always nice, but I don't want this place anymore.  There's nothing the state offers me anymore.  No offense to it, but there's pretty much nothing here but leaves, apples, and grave yards for me.  There at least needs to be a decent water slide park in this state.

I think I'm going to drink a Pepsi and watch the rest of this pro-wrestling.  Pro-wrestling, why?  Because Cincinnati and Balitmore are playing and I could give a fuck about those two teams.  Peace in the Middle East.

ps - I was dreaming of a girl.

Howdy pardner.

Howdy folks.  Welcome to the first post of my new blog here on blogger.com.  Another new on Lloyd?  Why must you keep switching?  Blurty, LiveJournal, MySpace.  Pick one and go with it you neurotic fat fuck.  ...woah, harsh waves of amber grain here, English.  Let's settle down.  Garcon, another drink.  Tom Collins and a Singapore Sling.

I'm still in Indiana.  Yes, the great state of Indiana. What have we brought to this human race?  Kurt Vonnegut Jr.  A great mind.  Chuck Taylor.  Hey, comfortable shoes!  Red Gold Ketchup!  Feels like you're kinda stretching there, slim.  Dan Quayle.  Ok, I know what you're saying, why him.  He was a pioneer.  If it wasn't for him, bands like limp bizkit, KoRn, and countless other bands would spell their names correctly.

Where's the tower?  Where's the gun?

Dead heroes:  Kurt Vonnegut Jr.  Bill Hicks.  Hunter S. Thompson.  They're looking down from Heaven.  They would love that joke.

Love.  The love you see in films is fake.  The love you here your newly married friends talk about is not love on first sight.  (I'm not calling anyone out individually, I know about 10 of you that are recently married.  So please.  Shut the fuck up.)  Love on first sight is nothing more but lust.  Your brain is just trying rationalize that you're wanting to jump bones and fuck that person's sexual organs off.  I'll be over here, being bitter.

Americans are dumb.  I know I'm being the whole cliched, "I've lived in Canada for a year and I'm young and stupid, etc etc."  But here me out.  You have to agree our current populace isn't exactly going for the gold here on intellect.  Look at some of the programming that's out there on the old boob tube.  Who's Smarter than a 4th Grader.  We had a man on there that did not know the name of our national anthem.  The film Idiocracy is coming true.

Neo-con conservative christians.  I'm an atheist, I believe in evolution, I believe that we should allow gay marriage, I believe in socialism (to an extent), I believe in the legalization of marijuana, and yet somehow.  You still let me near your children.  

That was fun.  Till next time, friends.  Even if you don't think so, I love you all.  The platonic kind.